User blog:My blood smells like the ocean XD/Read this please. You will hate me, but nothing matters anymore...
You will all hate me for this, but I don't care anymore. My time is coming to a close. The weather grows warmer, and as summer comes, those who have been watching me for many months now will kill me. I could not go without a clean conscious. Please know now that everything I said here, as Bianca, I meant with my whole heart. It killed me to have it hidden, and I know there is no excuse for it, but I wanted to help in any way I could, and realized I could not do it as you knew me before. And now I realize how selfish I am. In this short little bit I have already used the words 'I' and 'me' 15-20 times. Now for the Confession. When I first came on, I used the name Celandia. I dropped hints that if examined closely would have shown you who I was, trying to tell you, to let it come out, but to no avail. I sent many e-mails to the gods accounts (LadyRhea8@aim.com, ApolloisSoCool@gmail.com, usgodsrock@aol.com, and usgodsrock@aim.com) in the hopes that I could find out who I really was. I found out everything. My name is really Bianca, I am a daughter of Anesta, I have a twin named Alexa (Alexandra), and our names were changed when we were seperated as Protection. One thing led to another, and it all got out of hand. I am tired of keeping the past hidden, and I accept the consequences of what will come of this. Not that it will matter. I'm gone as soon as I post this blog, and dead by summer. Dancer3211996: The first I came on as. I tried too hard to fit in, be like everyone else, instead of being myself. It made everything 10 times worse, and I regret it. Death and Destruction: Created to find out who liked me, and would believe me, and who would not. Mostly created for 'Roseia' but also showed how a select few others felt. The account in greek meaning 'Death' was not mine. I suspect it to be a person I know from dance who hates me, and tries to get me in trouble all the time. Katie and Raven: Real friends of mine, but not acctually running the account. Once again, it was me. That account was created to try and make it so that I could come back as who I really was. Changed, and try to gain back your trust. Trust I do not deserve, never did, and never will. My blood smells like the ocean XD: The real me. Who I am in reality, not who I try to be, or what I pretend to be. It showed me much about all of you, what was below the hatred of me before. Then again, you did not know who I was, and that was hatred I more than deserved. So now you know. I feel as if a great weight has been lifted, but I still see no light at the end of the tunnel, only a black wall that will lead me to the Underworld. Most likely Tartarus. At the very least the Fields of Punishment. Weather you like it or not, there are still messages I would like to leave. Please read them, and when you do, keep an open mind, and know that I speak from the heart, and every word is true. There is no excuse for what I have done, and I know that. 'Danielle, Cleo, and Hannah:' I am sorry for having lied. I apologize for my actions, all of them. I know that you all hate me, and hate is powerful. It is not easily dismissed. I would not want it to be. I would also like to thank you for your randomness. Even on the worst days, it puzzled me, and made me laugh at the same time. There are not many people quite like you three. 'Chey, Shawn, Marie, Eragon (that includes Saphira, Gleadr, Arya, and others), Zala, and Zach:' Betrayal is a horrible thing. When one betray's one's friends, it is completely unforgivable. I have done some horrible things in my life, and even if you never considered me a friend, I did you. Zach, you forgave me for being Roman when you hate Romans more than anything. It could not have been easy for you, and while I still believe you should not judge a book by its cover and give the others a chance, you should not have me. Sometimes, everyone must follow their gut instinct. Zala and Eragon, we never really spoke much, but you still inspire me. You showed me that the world is full of evil, and light. Even one person, or dragon, or elf, or whatever can make the difference. Friendship makes all the difference in the world. Evil does not stand a chance against it. Marie, we also did not speak much, but when we did you always spoke with a kindness I never deserved. I thank you for that, and hope that you continue to show the world your good heart. Chey and Shawn, you two, though you went through much pain and many sacrifices, still stuck through it all. You continue to help those in need, and put a smile on many people's faces. Life has been unbearibly rough, and you still continue to see the good. That goes to show what kind of people you are. 'Others/Everyone:' I am wrapping this up shorter than what I would like to say because 1.) it's already lengthy and 2.) it's almost 2 am, and I have to get an early start tomarrow. But there is still things that you need to know. Among the top is that you are all hero's. Every one of you, in your own little way. Each of you brings a light into this world of darkness, and when banded together in friendship, you bring that light to the whole world. Each of you has gone through much pain and sacrifice, yet you continue. You continue to help, and be completely random -sad smile-. We have had our dissagreements, and always will, but through it all you make me smile. I deserve every bit I have comming twards me, and much more. But I hope that you all stay strong, and continue making the world a better place. Each of you is powerful on their own, and the world would not be the same if one were to dissappear, but together you are much stronger. Use that strength for good, fight those who would suppress freedom and origionality, and akward randomness!!!! Don't make the mistake I did by trying to be someone your not. You are you, and you are perfect just the way you are. Cheesy, I know, but it's true. I'm sorry for all I have done. It will all be done soon. Hopefully with me gone, things will become a lot less complicated, and much brighter than it was when I added to the chaos. ~ Bianca, worst person on the planet, and deserving of nothing, not even a title. My blood smells like the ocean XD 06:39, February 21, 2011 (UTC) thumb|300px|leftthumb|300px|rightthumb|300px|right Category:Blog posts